Протоколы ведения собрания и пакет новичка (на АНГЛ, языке)
Добавлено: 07 июл 2021, 02:06
Было принято решение, что утвенние и вечерние собрания на Международном сайте в ЗУМЕ будут иметь разный формат (утренние для новичков еще не нашедших спонсора и вечерние для тех, кто имеет спонсора) - Это старые правила, имевшие место быть -10-15 лет назад. возможно они будут изменены в течении 1 месяца.
Здесь приведены 2 разных вида протоколов ведения собрания)
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LAA One Day at a Time
Meeting Format
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
4. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
Page 1 of 3
5. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
6. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
7. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
8. Before we begin sharing. Are there any newcomers in the room?
Please unmute and introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
9. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room.
10. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
11. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
12. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
13. It is time for announcements.
Page 2 of 3
14. Seventh Tradition.
15. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
16. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
Page 3 of 3
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LAA One Day at a Time
Recovery Meeting Format
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
4. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
Page 1 of 3
5. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
6. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
7. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
8. Before we begin sharing. Are there any newcomers in the room?
Please unmute and introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
9. Please note that this meeting is about the topic of recovery. Please
spend at least half of your share talking about your recovery from
love addiction. Newcomers who need to share about the problem
of love addiction are welcome to do so at the new Beginners
Meeting at 9:00 a.m. daily. Thank you.
10. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room.
11. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
12. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
Page 2 of 3
13. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
14. It is time for announcements.
15. Seventh Tradition.
16. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
17. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
Page 3 of 3
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Most of the current literature is on pdf format for printing. Attached is what we have so far. The "entire package" is the LAA original Newcomers' Packet. Some of it has been revised. It includes everything that was used in 2004.
The new literature is the latest literature to be read at zoom meetings.
The meeting format is in Word so you can modify it for your own meeting.
What literature you use for your meetings is up to the group you are hosting. We encourage you to vote on it at your first business meeting.
Thank you.
Attachments:
Original Literature 2014.pdf (250.34 KB)
7. LAA Zoom Meeting Format Final.pdf (49.75 KB)
7. LAA Literature Zoom Final.pdf (140.35 KB)
Susan P.
LAA One Day at a Time
Meeting Format
Updated April 17, 2021
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. Are there any newcomers in the room? Please unmute and
introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
4. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
5. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
Page 1 of 3
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
6. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
7. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
8. Please be aware, that while we do encourage honesty and
transparency in shares, if you do begin to share about sex-related
topics, the host will issue a gentle reminder of redirection. If the
share persists with sexual content, you will be muted at the host’s
discretion.
9. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
10. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room to specific members.
11. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
Page 2 of 3
12. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
13. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
14. It is time for announcements.
15. Seventh Tradition.
16. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
17. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
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Пакет Новичка за апрель 2021 г.
Welcome to LAA
Love addiction comes in many forms. Some love addicts carry a torch
for unavailable people. Some love addicts obsess when they fall in
love. Some love addicts get addicted to the euphoric effects of romance.
Others cannot let go of a toxic relationship even if they are unhappy,
depressed, lonely, neglected or in danger. Some love addicts are
codependent and others are narcissistic. What we all have in common is
that we are powerless over our distorted thoughts, feelings and behavior
when it comes to love, fantasies, and relationships. Still, there is hope.
Through self-honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and the 12-steps of
LAA, we can recover. We can grow and change in the sunlight of the spirit.
Welcome to LAA. Welcome home!
Preamble
Love Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose
common purpose is to recover from our unhealthy dependency on love as
it plays out in our fantasies and relationships. The only requirement for
membership in LAA is a desire to work toward recovery. There are no dues
orfees; we are self- supporting through our own contributions. Our primary
purpose is “to offer a safe place to recover from love addiction and to carry
the message of recovery to those who still suffer.”
Statement of Purpose
Love Addicts Anonymous was started to provide a safe place where love
addicts could come together and recover from love addiction. In LAA we
will share our experience, strength and hope with each other. As a group,
we will support each other unconditionally. We will also read literature,
share ideas, process information and work the 12-steps of LAA as adapted
fromAlcoholics Anonymous. Please be assured that no particular ideology
will be forced upon you. You can take what you need and leave the rest.
If you are a love addict, or think you might be, join us on our journey
toward putting love into perspective and establishing healthy relationships
with ourselves and others. Let us do together what we cannot do alone.
Typical Kinds of Love Addicts
There are many kinds of love addicts. To clarify, here is a list.
Obsessed Love Addicts (OLAs) cannot let go, even if their partners are:
P Unavailable emotionally or sexually
P Afraid to commit
P Cannot communicate
P Unloving
P Distant
P Abusive
P Controlling and dictatorial
P Ego-centric and selfish
P Addicted to something outside the relationship (hobbies, drugs,
alcohol, sex, someone else, gambling, shopping etc.)
Codependent Love Addicts (CLAs) are the most widely recognized.
They want to fix people who are damaged. They are loyal at the expense
of themselves. They will suffer rather than let go. They feel guilty when
they need to leave their partner. They are caretakers and providers.
Relationship Addicts are in a relationship, but they do not love their
partner. Either the honeymoon is over or they never had one to begin
with. They hold on to their relationship because they cannot deal with
being single, withdrawal, giving up on their relationship, or changing.
They are usually terrified of being lonely. They may, or may not, be
caretakers. They are addicted to the fantasy of “living happily ever
after,” and do not want to admit that they need to move on.
Ambivalent Love Addicts desperately crave love, but at the same time
they are terrified of emotional intimacy so they usually obsess about
someone who is unavailable or inappropriate.
Torch Bearers obsess about someone who is unavailable for years. This
can be done without acting out (suffering in silence) or by pursuing the
person they are in love with. This kind of addiction feeds on fantasies
and illusions. It is also known as unrequited love.
Romance Addicts are addicted to multiple partners. Unlike sex addicts,
who are trying to avoid bonding altogether, romance addicts bond with
each of their partners—to one degree or another—even if the romantic
liaisons are short-lived or happening simultaneously.
Using Sex: Many love addicts use sex as a way of experiencing
emotional intimacy for a short time. These love addicts also use sex as
way of trying to buy love. For example, they will offer sex to someone
in exchange for spending the night. This is different than sex addiction.
Switch-Hitting: You may find that you have more than one type of love
addiction. Many of these types overlap. For instance, you may be a
codependent for years and then become a love addict. Or a love/romance
addict. The important thing is to identify your own personal profile so
you know who you are. This will aid you in your recovery.
Cross Addiction: Many love addicts have more than one addiction
because they have an “addictive personality.” They are not only love
addicts they are also addicted to things like alcohol, drugs, food,
gambling, sex, shopping, video games, etc. All of these must be treated
as you treat your love addition.
Original Wound: The core issue for all love addicts is separation
anxiety. Once love addicts fall in love or bond with someone, they will
do anything to hold on. They will often engage in risky behavior that can
lead to health problems—even death. But do not be discouraged. In
Love Addicts Anonymous you will find help and a brighter tomorrow.
Definition of Recovery in LAA
In LAA, recovery is a state in which you are able to love yourself as
much as you love others. You are guided by a power greater than
yourself who knows what is best for you. You are growing and
changing. Love is a want not a need. Romantic love enhances your life
but does not determine your self-worth. Most of the time you are serene
and think clearly when it comes to relationships. Your behavior is sane
and marked by emotional sobriety. You do not "love" too much. You do
not "do" too much for others. You do not chase after unavailable people.
You do not put up with ambivalent people like narcissists or seductive
withholders. You have researched healthy relationships so you know
what your goals are. You stay close to people who are also in recovery in
order to avoid relapse. You never take recovery for granted or become
complacent.
Love addiction is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." It lies in wait for us
when we let our guard down. Above all else, you put your well being
ahead of your romantic attachments. You understand that romantic love
is not enough to sustain you. It is like a flower without roots. You need
love and compatibility with someone who can reciprocate. Finally, you
put an end to all triangles. Monogamy and recovery are synonymous.
The Twelve Steps of LAA
1. We admitted we were powerless over love, romance, fantasies and
relationships—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to
make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood God, praying only for
knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we
tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.
The Twelve Promises
1. I have a new sense of freedom because I am letting go of the past.
2. I am hopeful about my future relationships.
3. I can be attracted to someone without falling in love overnight, and
I can fall in love without obsessing.
4. If love does overwhelm me I do not act out in addictive ways.
5. I can tell the difference between fantasies and reality.
6. I do not have to control the ones I love nor let them control me.
7. I experience relationships one at a time and I do not get involved
with “unavailable” people.
8. If my basic needs are not being met, I can end my relationship.
9. I can leave anyone who is abusing me either verbally or physically.
10 I do not do for others what they should be doing for themselves.
11. I love myself as much as I love others.
12. I look to my Higher Power for strength, guidance, and the
willingness to change.
The Unity Prayer
I put my hand in yours, and
together we can do what we
could never do alone. No
longer is there a sense of
hopelessness; no longer must
we each depend upon our own
unsteady will power. We are all
together now, reaching out for
a power and strength greater
than ours, and as we join
hands we find love and
understanding beyond our
wildest dreams.
Ambivalent Love Addicts
Ambivalent Love Addicts do the following:
1. They crave love but they also fear it.
2. They avoid intimacy altogether by obsessing about love through
romantic fantasies about unavailable people.
3. They get involved and obsess about people who are emotionally
unavailable.
4. They become addicted through romantic affairs rather than
committed relationships.
5. They sabotage the relationships when their fear of intimacy comes
up.
6. They initiate relationships with more than one person at the same
time in order to avoid moving to a deeper level with any one
person and then become addicted to the whole group.
7. They break up and make up over and over again in the same
relationship and become addicted to this pattern.
8 They sexualize relationships to such a degree that emotional
intimacy is non-existent and then become addicted to the sex and
the relationship.
9. No matter how addicted they are, they cannot commit to the future.
They live in the moment.
10. They can love, commit, obsess and even become addicted, but this
will go hand in hand with avoidance tactics like a difficulty with
affection and opening up emotionally.
11. They are there and they are not there. They come close and then
move away. They are seductive withholders.
12 They let other things outside of the relationships get in the way, i.e.
hobbies, work, friends, lovers, addictions—anything. They just
cannot open up to a deeper level of emotional intimacy and yet
they are unable to let go of the relationship.
ALA's are ambivalent for different reasons and to different degrees.
Treatment is the same as that for the love addict—self-awareness, a
support network, change, and the 12-Steps of LAA.
© Love Addicts Anonymous, 2004
Здесь приведены 2 разных вида протоколов ведения собрания)
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LAA One Day at a Time
Meeting Format
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
4. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
Page 1 of 3
5. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
6. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
7. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
8. Before we begin sharing. Are there any newcomers in the room?
Please unmute and introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
9. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room.
10. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
11. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
12. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
13. It is time for announcements.
Page 2 of 3
14. Seventh Tradition.
15. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
16. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
Page 3 of 3
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LAA One Day at a Time
Recovery Meeting Format
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
4. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
Page 1 of 3
5. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
6. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
7. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
8. Before we begin sharing. Are there any newcomers in the room?
Please unmute and introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
9. Please note that this meeting is about the topic of recovery. Please
spend at least half of your share talking about your recovery from
love addiction. Newcomers who need to share about the problem
of love addiction are welcome to do so at the new Beginners
Meeting at 9:00 a.m. daily. Thank you.
10. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room.
11. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
12. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
Page 2 of 3
13. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
14. It is time for announcements.
15. Seventh Tradition.
16. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
17. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
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Most of the current literature is on pdf format for printing. Attached is what we have so far. The "entire package" is the LAA original Newcomers' Packet. Some of it has been revised. It includes everything that was used in 2004.
The new literature is the latest literature to be read at zoom meetings.
The meeting format is in Word so you can modify it for your own meeting.
What literature you use for your meetings is up to the group you are hosting. We encourage you to vote on it at your first business meeting.
Thank you.
Attachments:
Original Literature 2014.pdf (250.34 KB)
7. LAA Zoom Meeting Format Final.pdf (49.75 KB)
7. LAA Literature Zoom Final.pdf (140.35 KB)
Susan P.
LAA One Day at a Time
Meeting Format
Updated April 17, 2021
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. Are there any newcomers in the room? Please unmute and
introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
4. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
5. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
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group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
6. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
7. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
8. Please be aware, that while we do encourage honesty and
transparency in shares, if you do begin to share about sex-related
topics, the host will issue a gentle reminder of redirection. If the
share persists with sexual content, you will be muted at the host’s
discretion.
9. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
10. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room to specific members.
11. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
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12. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
13. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
14. It is time for announcements.
15. Seventh Tradition.
16. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
17. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
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Пакет Новичка за апрель 2021 г.
Welcome to LAA
Love addiction comes in many forms. Some love addicts carry a torch
for unavailable people. Some love addicts obsess when they fall in
love. Some love addicts get addicted to the euphoric effects of romance.
Others cannot let go of a toxic relationship even if they are unhappy,
depressed, lonely, neglected or in danger. Some love addicts are
codependent and others are narcissistic. What we all have in common is
that we are powerless over our distorted thoughts, feelings and behavior
when it comes to love, fantasies, and relationships. Still, there is hope.
Through self-honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and the 12-steps of
LAA, we can recover. We can grow and change in the sunlight of the spirit.
Welcome to LAA. Welcome home!
Preamble
Love Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose
common purpose is to recover from our unhealthy dependency on love as
it plays out in our fantasies and relationships. The only requirement for
membership in LAA is a desire to work toward recovery. There are no dues
orfees; we are self- supporting through our own contributions. Our primary
purpose is “to offer a safe place to recover from love addiction and to carry
the message of recovery to those who still suffer.”
Statement of Purpose
Love Addicts Anonymous was started to provide a safe place where love
addicts could come together and recover from love addiction. In LAA we
will share our experience, strength and hope with each other. As a group,
we will support each other unconditionally. We will also read literature,
share ideas, process information and work the 12-steps of LAA as adapted
fromAlcoholics Anonymous. Please be assured that no particular ideology
will be forced upon you. You can take what you need and leave the rest.
If you are a love addict, or think you might be, join us on our journey
toward putting love into perspective and establishing healthy relationships
with ourselves and others. Let us do together what we cannot do alone.
Typical Kinds of Love Addicts
There are many kinds of love addicts. To clarify, here is a list.
Obsessed Love Addicts (OLAs) cannot let go, even if their partners are:
P Unavailable emotionally or sexually
P Afraid to commit
P Cannot communicate
P Unloving
P Distant
P Abusive
P Controlling and dictatorial
P Ego-centric and selfish
P Addicted to something outside the relationship (hobbies, drugs,
alcohol, sex, someone else, gambling, shopping etc.)
Codependent Love Addicts (CLAs) are the most widely recognized.
They want to fix people who are damaged. They are loyal at the expense
of themselves. They will suffer rather than let go. They feel guilty when
they need to leave their partner. They are caretakers and providers.
Relationship Addicts are in a relationship, but they do not love their
partner. Either the honeymoon is over or they never had one to begin
with. They hold on to their relationship because they cannot deal with
being single, withdrawal, giving up on their relationship, or changing.
They are usually terrified of being lonely. They may, or may not, be
caretakers. They are addicted to the fantasy of “living happily ever
after,” and do not want to admit that they need to move on.
Ambivalent Love Addicts desperately crave love, but at the same time
they are terrified of emotional intimacy so they usually obsess about
someone who is unavailable or inappropriate.
Torch Bearers obsess about someone who is unavailable for years. This
can be done without acting out (suffering in silence) or by pursuing the
person they are in love with. This kind of addiction feeds on fantasies
and illusions. It is also known as unrequited love.
Romance Addicts are addicted to multiple partners. Unlike sex addicts,
who are trying to avoid bonding altogether, romance addicts bond with
each of their partners—to one degree or another—even if the romantic
liaisons are short-lived or happening simultaneously.
Using Sex: Many love addicts use sex as a way of experiencing
emotional intimacy for a short time. These love addicts also use sex as
way of trying to buy love. For example, they will offer sex to someone
in exchange for spending the night. This is different than sex addiction.
Switch-Hitting: You may find that you have more than one type of love
addiction. Many of these types overlap. For instance, you may be a
codependent for years and then become a love addict. Or a love/romance
addict. The important thing is to identify your own personal profile so
you know who you are. This will aid you in your recovery.
Cross Addiction: Many love addicts have more than one addiction
because they have an “addictive personality.” They are not only love
addicts they are also addicted to things like alcohol, drugs, food,
gambling, sex, shopping, video games, etc. All of these must be treated
as you treat your love addition.
Original Wound: The core issue for all love addicts is separation
anxiety. Once love addicts fall in love or bond with someone, they will
do anything to hold on. They will often engage in risky behavior that can
lead to health problems—even death. But do not be discouraged. In
Love Addicts Anonymous you will find help and a brighter tomorrow.
Definition of Recovery in LAA
In LAA, recovery is a state in which you are able to love yourself as
much as you love others. You are guided by a power greater than
yourself who knows what is best for you. You are growing and
changing. Love is a want not a need. Romantic love enhances your life
but does not determine your self-worth. Most of the time you are serene
and think clearly when it comes to relationships. Your behavior is sane
and marked by emotional sobriety. You do not "love" too much. You do
not "do" too much for others. You do not chase after unavailable people.
You do not put up with ambivalent people like narcissists or seductive
withholders. You have researched healthy relationships so you know
what your goals are. You stay close to people who are also in recovery in
order to avoid relapse. You never take recovery for granted or become
complacent.
Love addiction is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." It lies in wait for us
when we let our guard down. Above all else, you put your well being
ahead of your romantic attachments. You understand that romantic love
is not enough to sustain you. It is like a flower without roots. You need
love and compatibility with someone who can reciprocate. Finally, you
put an end to all triangles. Monogamy and recovery are synonymous.
The Twelve Steps of LAA
1. We admitted we were powerless over love, romance, fantasies and
relationships—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to
make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood God, praying only for
knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we
tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.
The Twelve Promises
1. I have a new sense of freedom because I am letting go of the past.
2. I am hopeful about my future relationships.
3. I can be attracted to someone without falling in love overnight, and
I can fall in love without obsessing.
4. If love does overwhelm me I do not act out in addictive ways.
5. I can tell the difference between fantasies and reality.
6. I do not have to control the ones I love nor let them control me.
7. I experience relationships one at a time and I do not get involved
with “unavailable” people.
8. If my basic needs are not being met, I can end my relationship.
9. I can leave anyone who is abusing me either verbally or physically.
10 I do not do for others what they should be doing for themselves.
11. I love myself as much as I love others.
12. I look to my Higher Power for strength, guidance, and the
willingness to change.
The Unity Prayer
I put my hand in yours, and
together we can do what we
could never do alone. No
longer is there a sense of
hopelessness; no longer must
we each depend upon our own
unsteady will power. We are all
together now, reaching out for
a power and strength greater
than ours, and as we join
hands we find love and
understanding beyond our
wildest dreams.
Ambivalent Love Addicts
Ambivalent Love Addicts do the following:
1. They crave love but they also fear it.
2. They avoid intimacy altogether by obsessing about love through
romantic fantasies about unavailable people.
3. They get involved and obsess about people who are emotionally
unavailable.
4. They become addicted through romantic affairs rather than
committed relationships.
5. They sabotage the relationships when their fear of intimacy comes
up.
6. They initiate relationships with more than one person at the same
time in order to avoid moving to a deeper level with any one
person and then become addicted to the whole group.
7. They break up and make up over and over again in the same
relationship and become addicted to this pattern.
8 They sexualize relationships to such a degree that emotional
intimacy is non-existent and then become addicted to the sex and
the relationship.
9. No matter how addicted they are, they cannot commit to the future.
They live in the moment.
10. They can love, commit, obsess and even become addicted, but this
will go hand in hand with avoidance tactics like a difficulty with
affection and opening up emotionally.
11. They are there and they are not there. They come close and then
move away. They are seductive withholders.
12 They let other things outside of the relationships get in the way, i.e.
hobbies, work, friends, lovers, addictions—anything. They just
cannot open up to a deeper level of emotional intimacy and yet
they are unable to let go of the relationship.
ALA's are ambivalent for different reasons and to different degrees.
Treatment is the same as that for the love addict—self-awareness, a
support network, change, and the 12-Steps of LAA.
© Love Addicts Anonymous, 2004