Было принято решение, что утвенние и вечерние собрания на Международном сайте в ЗУМЕ будут иметь разный формат (утренние для новичков еще не нашедших спонсора и вечерние для тех, кто имеет спонсора) - Это старые правила, имевшие место быть -10-15 лет назад. возможно они будут изменены в течении 1 месяца.
Здесь приведены 2 разных вида протоколов ведения собрания)
--- ---- ---- ---- ----
LAA One Day at a Time
Meeting Format
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
4. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
Page 1 of 3
5. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
6. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
7. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
8. Before we begin sharing. Are there any newcomers in the room?
Please unmute and introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
9. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room.
10. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
11. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
12. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
13. It is time for announcements.
Page 2 of 3
14. Seventh Tradition.
15. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
16. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
Page 3 of 3
--- ---- ---- ----- ----- ----- ------ -----
LAA One Day at a Time
Recovery Meeting Format
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
4. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
Page 1 of 3
5. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
6. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
7. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
8. Before we begin sharing. Are there any newcomers in the room?
Please unmute and introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
9. Please note that this meeting is about the topic of recovery. Please
spend at least half of your share talking about your recovery from
love addiction. Newcomers who need to share about the problem
of love addiction are welcome to do so at the new Beginners
Meeting at 9:00 a.m. daily. Thank you.
10. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room.
11. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
12. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
Page 2 of 3
13. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
14. It is time for announcements.
15. Seventh Tradition.
16. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
17. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
Page 3 of 3
--- ----- ---- ---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----
Most of the current literature is on pdf format for printing. Attached is what we have so far. The "entire package" is the LAA original Newcomers' Packet. Some of it has been revised. It includes everything that was used in 2004.
The new literature is the latest literature to be read at zoom meetings.
The meeting format is in Word so you can modify it for your own meeting.
What literature you use for your meetings is up to the group you are hosting. We encourage you to vote on it at your first business meeting.
Thank you.
Attachments:
Original Literature 2014.pdf (250.34 KB)
7. LAA Zoom Meeting Format Final.pdf (49.75 KB)
7. LAA Literature Zoom Final.pdf (140.35 KB)
Susan P.
LAA One Day at a Time
Meeting Format
Updated April 17, 2021
1. Good day and welcome to the “One Day at a Time Fellowship of
Love Addicts Anonymous”: My name is __________ and I am
your host for today. In the spirit of love and truth let=s recite the
serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
2. LAA is an all-inclusive organization and everyone is welcome. We
ask that when you share you be sensitive to the others in the room
as the primary purpose of LAA is to offer a safe place for love
addicts to recover.
3. Are there any newcomers in the room? Please unmute and
introduce yourself so we can welcome you.
4. I will bring up our literature. Please unmute yourself if you are
willing to share.
5. Group Safety: LAA a not a dating club and there is no place for
flirting, or any behavior that makes another member feel
uncomfortable. If a member feels that they have been approached
inappropriately or is negatively impacted by another’s behavior,
for whatever reason, they should speak to a service member. If
these principles are broken, the reputation of LAA, the unity of the
Page 1 of 3
group, and the well-being of individual members may be adversely
affected and this is of great concern. For the good of LAA as a
whole, anyone breaching these guidelines may be requested not to
attend a particular meeting or meetings until their recovery is more
advanced. Conference approved.
6. Meeting Guidelines: LAA focuses solely on codependency, love
addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts. We do not
discuss sex addiction, in conjunction with love addiction, as their
recovery program is different than ours.
7. We respectfully ask that if you are a member of another 12-step
group, that you do not talk about that recovery program while in
this meeting. Our primary purpose is to offer help to recovering
love addicts and codependents. Talk of other addictions only
dilutes our primary purpose.
8. Please be aware, that while we do encourage honesty and
transparency in shares, if you do begin to share about sex-related
topics, the host will issue a gentle reminder of redirection. If the
share persists with sexual content, you will be muted at the host’s
discretion.
9. Will someone agree to be our time keeper—10 minutes for the
speaker/literature and 3 minutes for sharing.
10. The meeting is now open for sharing. The topic is _____________.
In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal response to
another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and
offering advice are considered crosstalk. Affirmations can be
posted in the chat room to specific members.
11. Sharing is now closed. If you did not get a chance to share please
stay after the meeting for our “after hours meeting.”
Page 2 of 3
12. If you are available for outreach or to sponsor someone, please
post your phone number or email in the chat room.
13. If you want copies of the our literature and the readings for the day
please visit our message board. You can also get peer support.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
14. It is time for announcements.
15. Seventh Tradition.
16. As we bring this meeting to a close, I would like to remind you that
LAA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the
anonymity and confidentiality of each person in this meeting.
17. Let=s close with the Unity Prayer.
I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could
never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no
longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out for a power and strength
greater than ours, and as we join hands we find love and
understanding beyond our wildest dreams.
Copyright © 2021 Love Addicts Anonymous
----- ---- ---- ---- ---- -------
Пакет Новичка за апрель 2021 г.
Welcome to LAA
Love addiction comes in many forms. Some love addicts carry a torch
for unavailable people. Some love addicts obsess when they fall in
love. Some love addicts get addicted to the euphoric effects of romance.
Others cannot let go of a toxic relationship even if they are unhappy,
depressed, lonely, neglected or in danger. Some love addicts are
codependent and others are narcissistic. What we all have in common is
that we are powerless over our distorted thoughts, feelings and behavior
when it comes to love, fantasies, and relationships. Still, there is hope.
Through self-honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and the 12-steps of
LAA, we can recover. We can grow and change in the sunlight of the spirit.
Welcome to LAA. Welcome home!
Preamble
Love Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose
common purpose is to recover from our unhealthy dependency on love as
it plays out in our fantasies and relationships. The only requirement for
membership in LAA is a desire to work toward recovery. There are no dues
orfees; we are self- supporting through our own contributions. Our primary
purpose is “to offer a safe place to recover from love addiction and to carry
the message of recovery to those who still suffer.”
Statement of Purpose
Love Addicts Anonymous was started to provide a safe place where love
addicts could come together and recover from love addiction. In LAA we
will share our experience, strength and hope with each other. As a group,
we will support each other unconditionally. We will also read literature,
share ideas, process information and work the 12-steps of LAA as adapted
fromAlcoholics Anonymous. Please be assured that no particular ideology
will be forced upon you. You can take what you need and leave the rest.
If you are a love addict, or think you might be, join us on our journey
toward putting love into perspective and establishing healthy relationships
with ourselves and others. Let us do together what we cannot do alone.
Typical Kinds of Love Addicts
There are many kinds of love addicts. To clarify, here is a list.
Obsessed Love Addicts (OLAs) cannot let go, even if their partners are:
P Unavailable emotionally or sexually
P Afraid to commit
P Cannot communicate
P Unloving
P Distant
P Abusive
P Controlling and dictatorial
P Ego-centric and selfish
P Addicted to something outside the relationship (hobbies, drugs,
alcohol, sex, someone else, gambling, shopping etc.)
Codependent Love Addicts (CLAs) are the most widely recognized.
They want to fix people who are damaged. They are loyal at the expense
of themselves. They will suffer rather than let go. They feel guilty when
they need to leave their partner. They are caretakers and providers.
Relationship Addicts are in a relationship, but they do not love their
partner. Either the honeymoon is over or they never had one to begin
with. They hold on to their relationship because they cannot deal with
being single, withdrawal, giving up on their relationship, or changing.
They are usually terrified of being lonely. They may, or may not, be
caretakers. They are addicted to the fantasy of “living happily ever
after,” and do not want to admit that they need to move on.
Ambivalent Love Addicts desperately crave love, but at the same time
they are terrified of emotional intimacy so they usually obsess about
someone who is unavailable or inappropriate.
Torch Bearers obsess about someone who is unavailable for years. This
can be done without acting out (suffering in silence) or by pursuing the
person they are in love with. This kind of addiction feeds on fantasies
and illusions. It is also known as unrequited love.
Romance Addicts are addicted to multiple partners. Unlike sex addicts,
who are trying to avoid bonding altogether, romance addicts bond with
each of their partners—to one degree or another—even if the romantic
liaisons are short-lived or happening simultaneously.
Using Sex: Many love addicts use sex as a way of experiencing
emotional intimacy for a short time. These love addicts also use sex as
way of trying to buy love. For example, they will offer sex to someone
in exchange for spending the night. This is different than sex addiction.
Switch-Hitting: You may find that you have more than one type of love
addiction. Many of these types overlap. For instance, you may be a
codependent for years and then become a love addict. Or a love/romance
addict. The important thing is to identify your own personal profile so
you know who you are. This will aid you in your recovery.
Cross Addiction: Many love addicts have more than one addiction
because they have an “addictive personality.” They are not only love
addicts they are also addicted to things like alcohol, drugs, food,
gambling, sex, shopping, video games, etc. All of these must be treated
as you treat your love addition.
Original Wound: The core issue for all love addicts is separation
anxiety. Once love addicts fall in love or bond with someone, they will
do anything to hold on. They will often engage in risky behavior that can
lead to health problems—even death. But do not be discouraged. In
Love Addicts Anonymous you will find help and a brighter tomorrow.
Definition of Recovery in LAA
In LAA, recovery is a state in which you are able to love yourself as
much as you love others. You are guided by a power greater than
yourself who knows what is best for you. You are growing and
changing. Love is a want not a need. Romantic love enhances your life
but does not determine your self-worth. Most of the time you are serene
and think clearly when it comes to relationships. Your behavior is sane
and marked by emotional sobriety. You do not "love" too much. You do
not "do" too much for others. You do not chase after unavailable people.
You do not put up with ambivalent people like narcissists or seductive
withholders. You have researched healthy relationships so you know
what your goals are. You stay close to people who are also in recovery in
order to avoid relapse. You never take recovery for granted or become
complacent.
Love addiction is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." It lies in wait for us
when we let our guard down. Above all else, you put your well being
ahead of your romantic attachments. You understand that romantic love
is not enough to sustain you. It is like a flower without roots. You need
love and compatibility with someone who can reciprocate. Finally, you
put an end to all triangles. Monogamy and recovery are synonymous.
The Twelve Steps of LAA
1. We admitted we were powerless over love, romance, fantasies and
relationships—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to
make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood God, praying only for
knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we
tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.
The Twelve Promises
1. I have a new sense of freedom because I am letting go of the past.
2. I am hopeful about my future relationships.
3. I can be attracted to someone without falling in love overnight, and
I can fall in love without obsessing.
4. If love does overwhelm me I do not act out in addictive ways.
5. I can tell the difference between fantasies and reality.
6. I do not have to control the ones I love nor let them control me.
7. I experience relationships one at a time and I do not get involved
with “unavailable” people.
8. If my basic needs are not being met, I can end my relationship.
9. I can leave anyone who is abusing me either verbally or physically.
10 I do not do for others what they should be doing for themselves.
11. I love myself as much as I love others.
12. I look to my Higher Power for strength, guidance, and the
willingness to change.
The Unity Prayer
I put my hand in yours, and
together we can do what we
could never do alone. No
longer is there a sense of
hopelessness; no longer must
we each depend upon our own
unsteady will power. We are all
together now, reaching out for
a power and strength greater
than ours, and as we join
hands we find love and
understanding beyond our
wildest dreams.
Ambivalent Love Addicts
Ambivalent Love Addicts do the following:
1. They crave love but they also fear it.
2. They avoid intimacy altogether by obsessing about love through
romantic fantasies about unavailable people.
3. They get involved and obsess about people who are emotionally
unavailable.
4. They become addicted through romantic affairs rather than
committed relationships.
5. They sabotage the relationships when their fear of intimacy comes
up.
6. They initiate relationships with more than one person at the same
time in order to avoid moving to a deeper level with any one
person and then become addicted to the whole group.
7. They break up and make up over and over again in the same
relationship and become addicted to this pattern.
8 They sexualize relationships to such a degree that emotional
intimacy is non-existent and then become addicted to the sex and
the relationship.
9. No matter how addicted they are, they cannot commit to the future.
They live in the moment.
10. They can love, commit, obsess and even become addicted, but this
will go hand in hand with avoidance tactics like a difficulty with
affection and opening up emotionally.
11. They are there and they are not there. They come close and then
move away. They are seductive withholders.
12 They let other things outside of the relationships get in the way, i.e.
hobbies, work, friends, lovers, addictions—anything. They just
cannot open up to a deeper level of emotional intimacy and yet
they are unable to let go of the relationship.
ALA's are ambivalent for different reasons and to different degrees.
Treatment is the same as that for the love addict—self-awareness, a
support network, change, and the 12-Steps of LAA.
© Love Addicts Anonymous, 2004
Протоколы ведения собрания и пакет новичка (на АНГЛ, языке)
-
Creativeladys
- Сообщения: 82
- Зарегистрирован: 21 июл 2020, 17:18
-
Creativeladys
- Сообщения: 82
- Зарегистрирован: 21 июл 2020, 17:18
Re: Протоколы ведения собрания и пакет новичка (на АНГЛ, языке)
На территории Международного форума АЛЗ находится обновленная версия "Пакета для новичков" вы можете найти ее на английском языке на форуме вот здесь:
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net ... comers-kit, а также найти на гугл-диске вот здесь в конце страницы
Love Addicts Anonymous Welcome Kit
Welcome to Newcomers!
Welcome to Love Addicts Anonymous, we are glad you have found us. Members are
here to support you in your journey of healing. We hope you find this information useful
to understand the program and the resources available to you.
LAA Statement of Purpose
Love Addicts Anonymous was started to provide a safe place where love addicts could
come together and recover from love addiction. In LAA we will share our experience,
strength and hope with each other. As a group, we will support each other
unconditionally. We will also read literature, share ideas, process information and work
the 12-steps of LAA as adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. Please be assured that no
particular ideology will be forced upon you. You can take what you need and leave the
rest. If you are a love addict, or think you might be, join us on our journey toward
putting love into perspective and establishing healthy relationships with ourselves and
others. Let us do together what we cannot do alone.
-1-
The Twelve Promises
1. I have a new sense of freedom because I am letting go of the past.
2. I am hopeful about my future relationships.
3. I can be attracted to someone without falling in love overnight, and I can fall in
love without obsessing.
4. If love does overwhelm me I do not act out in addictive ways.
5. I can tell the difference between fantasies and reality.
6. I do not have to control the ones I love nor let them control me.
7. I experience relationships one at a time and I do not get involved with
“unavailable” people.
8. If my basic needs are not being met, I can end my relationship.
9. I can leave anyone who is abusing me either verbally or physically.
10. I do not do for others what they should be doing for themselves.
11. I love myself as much as I love others.
12. I look to my Higher Power for strength, guidance, and the willingness to change
-2-
The Twelve Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over love, romance, fantasies and
relationships—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to
them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and
the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry
this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
-3-
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I get a sponsor?
Sponsors are more limited due to the size of the program, although they are available by
finding someone with more recovery and whose story you can connect to by coming to
meetings and participating in the meeting and after-hours fellowship. It is important to
remember to focus on the principles not the personalities.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/sponsorship.htm
2. How is LAA different than other 12 step programs?
LAA is a program of moderation when it comes to love. Our goal is healthy love and
healthy relationships. It is not a program of abstinence except when you are obsessed
and in withdrawal. There are also times when no contact is impossible. If you have
financial ties, share a business, work together, or have children it is really difficult.
Sometimes no contact just does not work because you have unfinished business. It is
important to refrain from judging those who choose limited contact. The shock of no
contact can be just to much for some.
Unlike a substance program, sobriety in LAA is based on non-addictive thinking and
healthy, non-destructive behaviors with regard to relationships, fantasy, obsessing or
avoidance of healthy relationships, which can be more ambiguous than the avoidance of
a substance, because our brains are the internal drug store.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY The Brain in Love. Helen Fisher.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Recovery.htm
3. What does sobriety /recovery mean in LAA?
It means we stop acting in addictive, obsessive or compulsive ways, and work towards
emotional sobriety and healthy self-esteem, as well as develop mutually sustaining
relationships in multiple areas of our lives. We come to view relationships as a want,
rather than a need.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Self-Esteem%20LAA.pdf
-4-
4. What is “No contact” and why is it so important?
No contact means ceasing physical, emotional, mental and psychological interactions or
connections with the person that we had our most recent relationship with – the one
that brought us to recovery. No texting, no calling, no stalking, no e-mailing, no social
media stalking, no drive-bys, no talking to friends or family of the person that “qualifies”
us to be here. We get rid of all items and photos of the person (perfume, jewelry,
clothing, etc.).
http://www.loveaddicts.org/No%20Contact ... s%2002.pdf
5. What is withdrawal and how long does it last? (Are we there yet?)
Withdrawal is a process of adjusting to our life without the dependency or addiction to a
person, fantasy or relationship, and the discomfort may be as painful as someone going
through physical, emotional and mental withdrawal from a physical substance.
Stop obsessive thinking and ruminating to recreate the pain and the dopamine and
cortisol release. It is not a linear process and it is important not to beat yourself up.
It will vary based on each person’s history and how persistently they work the steps and
the practices of the program. Each person’s journey is different, and some people will
experience quick relief, others will take longer, and it is not unusual for feelings of
withdrawal to recur when emotional or physical triggers come up. It is important to
practice no contact to get through the early and eventual later phases of withdrawal.
With each relapse, the process may have to be restarted and it WILL be more painful
each time.
There is hope, keep coming back and use the tools of the program !!! This time is an
opportunity for tremendous growth that can change the rest of your life. Self-care is
vital as you go through this phase. You get to meet yourself and discover new things and
ultimately live happy, joyous and free.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Limited%20Contact.htm
6. Does LAA have bottom line behaviors and how does it work?
LAA does not identify specific bottom-line behaviors; rather, we learn to stop acting in
addictive ways and patterns with regard to romantic relationships. We learn to work the
steps, recognize the characteristics of love addiction, and observe if we are attaining the
-5-
12 promises of recovery for love addiction. Maintaining no contact from a qualifier or
previous qualifiers may be a type of bottom line in LAA.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/doesLAAwork.htm
7. How is LAA different than SLAA?
The emphasis here is on love addiction and co-dependent relationships and
understanding the different types of love addicts or love avoidants (Ambivalent Love
Addicts). Sex addiction is addressed in another program. Although love addicts may use
sex to try and get love, it is not the primary issue, and we do not talk about sex in our
meetings. Our focus is learning how to develop healthy self-esteem, to be content even
if we are single, and to enter, maintain or exit a romantic relationship in a healthy way.
We do follow the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA, as adapted to the disease of love
addiction.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/kindsofloveaddicts.html
http://www.loveaddicts.org/ambivalent.html
8. Does LAA have crosstalk? In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal
response to another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and offering
advice are considered crosstalk.
Web Links
LAA Home Page
http://www.loveaddicts.org/LAAHomeIndex.html
40 Questions to help you determine if you are a love addict
http://www.loveaddicts.org/40questions.html
LAA Meetings
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net ... ommeetings
LAA Message Board. This requires signing up to access the content.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
-6-
Registration to message board and Newcomer information
Please Register: Registering and logging in is important for the following reasons.
1. It is the only way to bring up and print the literature files.
2. It helps us avoid spam.
3. It allows us to contact you to offer help without posting about your personal
information.
4. It adds you to our email list for important announcements.
5. While cross talk is allowed on this board there are some things that need
attention in the PM (personal message) feature of this board to protect your
privacy. The PM feature only works if you are registered.
Thank you for your cooperation.
LAA One Day At A Time 9am PST Group WhatsApp
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CJ8zjY3KbI07VITHAF3uUL
Spirituality and Recovery
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net ... -addiction
LAA Recovery Literature
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Annotated%20Reading%20.pdf
Frequently referenced text and work books
Title Description Where to buy
Love Addicts
Anonymous
Basic Text
This is the basic text of Love Addicts
Anonymous. It includes the stories of our
members in recovery. The following topics
are covered. Preamble. Statement of
Purpose. Welcome. Typical Kinds of Love
Addicts. 40 Questions to Determine if You
are a Love addict. Underlying Issues.
Recovery. Working the 12 Steps. Suggested
Meeting Format. 12-Promises of LAA. 12-
https://app.thebookpatc
h.com/BookStore/loveaddictsanonymous/8427a9b7-
db40-4541-90c3-
a14d3f67c902
-7-
Steps of LAA' 12-Traditions of LAA. 12
Spiritual Steps. Members’ Stories.
Spirituality. Progress. Reading List.
Love Addicts
Anonymous
Step Workbook
This is the official step guide of the group of
Love Addicts Anonymous.
https://app.thebookpatc
h.com/BookStore/laastep-guide/a186f466-
5c3c-4245-a509-
f45643034532
Addiction to
Love:
Overcoming
Obsession and
Dependency in
Relationships
Love addiction manifests in many forms, from fatal
attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but
nonetheless psychologically and emotionally
harmful forms. The most common of these is
staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of
being alone - the "I hate you but don't leave me"
relationship.
In Addiction to Love, recovering love addict Susan
Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder
plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict
to the addict who can't disentangle from an
unfulfilling, dead-end relationship
https://www.amazon.co
m/Addiction-to-LoveSusan-Peabodyaudiobook/dp/B07N31V
VZF/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=
1&keywords=addiction+
to+love&qid=163356831
2&s=books&sr=1-3
Facing Love
Addiction:
Giving Yourself
the Power to
Change the Way
You Love
In this revised and updated version of Facing Love
Addiction, bestselling author of Facing
Codependence and internationally recognized
dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody
unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love
relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic
love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and
journal-keeping, Facing Love
Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines
the recovery process for Love Addicts, and
Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods
work to comfort and motivate all those looking to
establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships
https://www.amazon.co
m/Facing-LoveAddiction-GivingYourself/dp/006250604
8/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2CH8
CLROIVMLI&dchild=1&k
eywords=pia+mellody+l
ove+addiction&qid=163
3972207&sprefix=pia+m
elody%2Caps%2C190&sr
=8-3
SURVIVING
WITHDRAWAL:
The Break Up
Workbook for
Love Addicts
Surviving Withdrawal is a recovery workbook for
love addicts, anxiously attached, and for those
obsessed over an ex or have love addiction
tendencies experiencing relationship withdrawal
caused by a breakup, divorce, relationship loss; or
romantic relationship that is coming or is nearing
an end.
While this workbook is not a cure or substitute for
all aspects of treatment-- it provides essential
insights, tools, and strategies to help overcome
https://www.loveaddicti
onhelp.com/inc/sdetail/
1474/1480
-8-
and adjust to the acute discomfort of love
withdrawal and obsession over an ex-partner
Recovery
Workbook for
Love Addicts
and Love
Avoidants
This Recovery Workbook is meant to introduce
people to the wonder of journaling, creating an
inventory, and setting goals. While writing, things
occur to us that may not have otherwise seeped up
from our unconscious. Writing also reinforces what
we have learned and acts as a bench mark
affirming our progress. I have also chosen this
opportunity to bring the reader's attention to the
Ambivalent Love Addict. In working with Love
Addicts and Love Avoidants, I have yet to find
someone who is not actually an Ambivalent Love
Addict. Since 1990, I have used the term brighter
tomorrow frequently in my work. It is the title of my
company and my hope for you. While we live in the
moment, and learn from the past, it is tomorrow
that draws us forward. Be careful to be optimistic
about the future. The glass is half full really.
Tomorrow will be brighter. Stumbling blocks and
setbacks are negligible compared to that. Enjoy
this workbook. Learn from this workbook. Keep it to
measure your progress and feel good about
yourself. It is a tool and device to help you move
forward in incremental steps. Remember that
writing is a living thing once you add your personal
touch. So live and learn and write.
https://www.amazon.
com/RecoveryWorkbook-LoveAddictsAvoidants/dp/162030
4724/ref=sr_1_3?dchil
d=1&keywords=susan
+peabody&qid=16335
68594&s=books&sr=1-
3
The Art of
Changing: Your
Path to a Better
Life
Self-help author and teacher Susan Peabody has
seen it happen over and over again--her students
want to turn their lives around but can't cope with
the challenges on the road to change. In THE ART
OF CHANGING, Peabody explains how to cross
the bridge between the problem and the solution.
She offers inspiration and direction on how to
become willing, use the spirit, find motivation, find
group support, and deal with stumbling blocks to
change. Dreams can come true if we can learn the
delicate ART OF CHANGING.
https://www.amazon.co
m/Art-Changing-YourPathBetter/dp/1587612402/
ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&ke
ywords=susan+peabody
&qid=1633568742&s=bo
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net ... comers-kit, а также найти на гугл-диске вот здесь в конце страницы
Love Addicts Anonymous Welcome Kit
Welcome to Newcomers!
Welcome to Love Addicts Anonymous, we are glad you have found us. Members are
here to support you in your journey of healing. We hope you find this information useful
to understand the program and the resources available to you.
LAA Statement of Purpose
Love Addicts Anonymous was started to provide a safe place where love addicts could
come together and recover from love addiction. In LAA we will share our experience,
strength and hope with each other. As a group, we will support each other
unconditionally. We will also read literature, share ideas, process information and work
the 12-steps of LAA as adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. Please be assured that no
particular ideology will be forced upon you. You can take what you need and leave the
rest. If you are a love addict, or think you might be, join us on our journey toward
putting love into perspective and establishing healthy relationships with ourselves and
others. Let us do together what we cannot do alone.
-1-
The Twelve Promises
1. I have a new sense of freedom because I am letting go of the past.
2. I am hopeful about my future relationships.
3. I can be attracted to someone without falling in love overnight, and I can fall in
love without obsessing.
4. If love does overwhelm me I do not act out in addictive ways.
5. I can tell the difference between fantasies and reality.
6. I do not have to control the ones I love nor let them control me.
7. I experience relationships one at a time and I do not get involved with
“unavailable” people.
8. If my basic needs are not being met, I can end my relationship.
9. I can leave anyone who is abusing me either verbally or physically.
10. I do not do for others what they should be doing for themselves.
11. I love myself as much as I love others.
12. I look to my Higher Power for strength, guidance, and the willingness to change
-2-
The Twelve Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over love, romance, fantasies and
relationships—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to
them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and
the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry
this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
-3-
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I get a sponsor?
Sponsors are more limited due to the size of the program, although they are available by
finding someone with more recovery and whose story you can connect to by coming to
meetings and participating in the meeting and after-hours fellowship. It is important to
remember to focus on the principles not the personalities.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/sponsorship.htm
2. How is LAA different than other 12 step programs?
LAA is a program of moderation when it comes to love. Our goal is healthy love and
healthy relationships. It is not a program of abstinence except when you are obsessed
and in withdrawal. There are also times when no contact is impossible. If you have
financial ties, share a business, work together, or have children it is really difficult.
Sometimes no contact just does not work because you have unfinished business. It is
important to refrain from judging those who choose limited contact. The shock of no
contact can be just to much for some.
Unlike a substance program, sobriety in LAA is based on non-addictive thinking and
healthy, non-destructive behaviors with regard to relationships, fantasy, obsessing or
avoidance of healthy relationships, which can be more ambiguous than the avoidance of
a substance, because our brains are the internal drug store.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY The Brain in Love. Helen Fisher.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Recovery.htm
3. What does sobriety /recovery mean in LAA?
It means we stop acting in addictive, obsessive or compulsive ways, and work towards
emotional sobriety and healthy self-esteem, as well as develop mutually sustaining
relationships in multiple areas of our lives. We come to view relationships as a want,
rather than a need.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Self-Esteem%20LAA.pdf
-4-
4. What is “No contact” and why is it so important?
No contact means ceasing physical, emotional, mental and psychological interactions or
connections with the person that we had our most recent relationship with – the one
that brought us to recovery. No texting, no calling, no stalking, no e-mailing, no social
media stalking, no drive-bys, no talking to friends or family of the person that “qualifies”
us to be here. We get rid of all items and photos of the person (perfume, jewelry,
clothing, etc.).
http://www.loveaddicts.org/No%20Contact ... s%2002.pdf
5. What is withdrawal and how long does it last? (Are we there yet?)
Withdrawal is a process of adjusting to our life without the dependency or addiction to a
person, fantasy or relationship, and the discomfort may be as painful as someone going
through physical, emotional and mental withdrawal from a physical substance.
Stop obsessive thinking and ruminating to recreate the pain and the dopamine and
cortisol release. It is not a linear process and it is important not to beat yourself up.
It will vary based on each person’s history and how persistently they work the steps and
the practices of the program. Each person’s journey is different, and some people will
experience quick relief, others will take longer, and it is not unusual for feelings of
withdrawal to recur when emotional or physical triggers come up. It is important to
practice no contact to get through the early and eventual later phases of withdrawal.
With each relapse, the process may have to be restarted and it WILL be more painful
each time.
There is hope, keep coming back and use the tools of the program !!! This time is an
opportunity for tremendous growth that can change the rest of your life. Self-care is
vital as you go through this phase. You get to meet yourself and discover new things and
ultimately live happy, joyous and free.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Limited%20Contact.htm
6. Does LAA have bottom line behaviors and how does it work?
LAA does not identify specific bottom-line behaviors; rather, we learn to stop acting in
addictive ways and patterns with regard to romantic relationships. We learn to work the
steps, recognize the characteristics of love addiction, and observe if we are attaining the
-5-
12 promises of recovery for love addiction. Maintaining no contact from a qualifier or
previous qualifiers may be a type of bottom line in LAA.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/doesLAAwork.htm
7. How is LAA different than SLAA?
The emphasis here is on love addiction and co-dependent relationships and
understanding the different types of love addicts or love avoidants (Ambivalent Love
Addicts). Sex addiction is addressed in another program. Although love addicts may use
sex to try and get love, it is not the primary issue, and we do not talk about sex in our
meetings. Our focus is learning how to develop healthy self-esteem, to be content even
if we are single, and to enter, maintain or exit a romantic relationship in a healthy way.
We do follow the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA, as adapted to the disease of love
addiction.
http://www.loveaddicts.org/kindsofloveaddicts.html
http://www.loveaddicts.org/ambivalent.html
8. Does LAA have crosstalk? In LAA there is no crosstalk which is any verbal
response to another person’s sharing. Interrupting, asking questions, and offering
advice are considered crosstalk.
Web Links
LAA Home Page
http://www.loveaddicts.org/LAAHomeIndex.html
40 Questions to help you determine if you are a love addict
http://www.loveaddicts.org/40questions.html
LAA Meetings
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net ... ommeetings
LAA Message Board. This requires signing up to access the content.
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net/
-6-
Registration to message board and Newcomer information
Please Register: Registering and logging in is important for the following reasons.
1. It is the only way to bring up and print the literature files.
2. It helps us avoid spam.
3. It allows us to contact you to offer help without posting about your personal
information.
4. It adds you to our email list for important announcements.
5. While cross talk is allowed on this board there are some things that need
attention in the PM (personal message) feature of this board to protect your
privacy. The PM feature only works if you are registered.
Thank you for your cooperation.
LAA One Day At A Time 9am PST Group WhatsApp
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CJ8zjY3KbI07VITHAF3uUL
Spirituality and Recovery
https://loveaddictsanonymous.boards.net ... -addiction
LAA Recovery Literature
http://www.loveaddicts.org/Annotated%20Reading%20.pdf
Frequently referenced text and work books
Title Description Where to buy
Love Addicts
Anonymous
Basic Text
This is the basic text of Love Addicts
Anonymous. It includes the stories of our
members in recovery. The following topics
are covered. Preamble. Statement of
Purpose. Welcome. Typical Kinds of Love
Addicts. 40 Questions to Determine if You
are a Love addict. Underlying Issues.
Recovery. Working the 12 Steps. Suggested
Meeting Format. 12-Promises of LAA. 12-
https://app.thebookpatc
h.com/BookStore/loveaddictsanonymous/8427a9b7-
db40-4541-90c3-
a14d3f67c902
-7-
Steps of LAA' 12-Traditions of LAA. 12
Spiritual Steps. Members’ Stories.
Spirituality. Progress. Reading List.
Love Addicts
Anonymous
Step Workbook
This is the official step guide of the group of
Love Addicts Anonymous.
https://app.thebookpatc
h.com/BookStore/laastep-guide/a186f466-
5c3c-4245-a509-
f45643034532
Addiction to
Love:
Overcoming
Obsession and
Dependency in
Relationships
Love addiction manifests in many forms, from fatal
attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but
nonetheless psychologically and emotionally
harmful forms. The most common of these is
staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of
being alone - the "I hate you but don't leave me"
relationship.
In Addiction to Love, recovering love addict Susan
Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder
plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict
to the addict who can't disentangle from an
unfulfilling, dead-end relationship
https://www.amazon.co
m/Addiction-to-LoveSusan-Peabodyaudiobook/dp/B07N31V
VZF/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=
1&keywords=addiction+
to+love&qid=163356831
2&s=books&sr=1-3
Facing Love
Addiction:
Giving Yourself
the Power to
Change the Way
You Love
In this revised and updated version of Facing Love
Addiction, bestselling author of Facing
Codependence and internationally recognized
dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody
unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love
relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic
love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and
journal-keeping, Facing Love
Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines
the recovery process for Love Addicts, and
Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods
work to comfort and motivate all those looking to
establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships
https://www.amazon.co
m/Facing-LoveAddiction-GivingYourself/dp/006250604
8/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2CH8
CLROIVMLI&dchild=1&k
eywords=pia+mellody+l
ove+addiction&qid=163
3972207&sprefix=pia+m
elody%2Caps%2C190&sr
=8-3
SURVIVING
WITHDRAWAL:
The Break Up
Workbook for
Love Addicts
Surviving Withdrawal is a recovery workbook for
love addicts, anxiously attached, and for those
obsessed over an ex or have love addiction
tendencies experiencing relationship withdrawal
caused by a breakup, divorce, relationship loss; or
romantic relationship that is coming or is nearing
an end.
While this workbook is not a cure or substitute for
all aspects of treatment-- it provides essential
insights, tools, and strategies to help overcome
https://www.loveaddicti
onhelp.com/inc/sdetail/
1474/1480
-8-
and adjust to the acute discomfort of love
withdrawal and obsession over an ex-partner
Recovery
Workbook for
Love Addicts
and Love
Avoidants
This Recovery Workbook is meant to introduce
people to the wonder of journaling, creating an
inventory, and setting goals. While writing, things
occur to us that may not have otherwise seeped up
from our unconscious. Writing also reinforces what
we have learned and acts as a bench mark
affirming our progress. I have also chosen this
opportunity to bring the reader's attention to the
Ambivalent Love Addict. In working with Love
Addicts and Love Avoidants, I have yet to find
someone who is not actually an Ambivalent Love
Addict. Since 1990, I have used the term brighter
tomorrow frequently in my work. It is the title of my
company and my hope for you. While we live in the
moment, and learn from the past, it is tomorrow
that draws us forward. Be careful to be optimistic
about the future. The glass is half full really.
Tomorrow will be brighter. Stumbling blocks and
setbacks are negligible compared to that. Enjoy
this workbook. Learn from this workbook. Keep it to
measure your progress and feel good about
yourself. It is a tool and device to help you move
forward in incremental steps. Remember that
writing is a living thing once you add your personal
touch. So live and learn and write.
https://www.amazon.
com/RecoveryWorkbook-LoveAddictsAvoidants/dp/162030
4724/ref=sr_1_3?dchil
d=1&keywords=susan
+peabody&qid=16335
68594&s=books&sr=1-
3
The Art of
Changing: Your
Path to a Better
Life
Self-help author and teacher Susan Peabody has
seen it happen over and over again--her students
want to turn their lives around but can't cope with
the challenges on the road to change. In THE ART
OF CHANGING, Peabody explains how to cross
the bridge between the problem and the solution.
She offers inspiration and direction on how to
become willing, use the spirit, find motivation, find
group support, and deal with stumbling blocks to
change. Dreams can come true if we can learn the
delicate ART OF CHANGING.
https://www.amazon.co
m/Art-Changing-YourPathBetter/dp/1587612402/
ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&ke
ywords=susan+peabody
&qid=1633568742&s=bo